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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2018 2:02 am 
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Aw I'm so sad to hear more of the situation and how awful you feel before sleep and when you wake up. It must get better!

You know, I think cooking is the best option. Because you should do what you enjoy, and if you really want the bad feelings you have to go away, I think a job you really like and are good at is what would make you feel great!

I really don't think there could ever be the possibility you have Down's. But anxiety and depression, yes. That sucks. I have depression myself. Doctors really need to be able to tell what you have.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2018 4:53 pm 
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Thank you, thedisneyspirit. Lucy had her surgery on July 25th; we're still waiting for the biopsy results to come back to see if they got all the cancer. She has a gnarly lump on the side of her face/neck area; she gets her stitches out in a few days.

theidsneyspirit: With jobs, experience often is what matters, no matter what the degree is in. It honestly is getting your foot in the door that often makes or breaks you; I know that it's not always easy to get your foot in the door ((I graduated in 2008 from college, when there was the recession, and I couldn't even get a job for 2 years, but I did volunteer work, and ended up getting a [crappy, but still a paying!] job at one of the nonprofits I volunteered at, then I went to grad school, living on student loans (I think it was worth it); even though I failed a class & was a semester shy of getting my Master's degree, the internships I had there look good on my resume, and have helped me get jobs close to what I was looking for. It just can take time.)). In my opinion, it's absolutely worth it to apply for the Diplomatic Academy- this is a case of, you never know unless you try, and if you get accepted- boom- stable employment!

With a background in linguistics, I'm thinking that, even as temporary or part-time work, you could apply to be a tutor, maybe? You could still try to find another job, of course, but you could utilize your language skills to help students. You could also do that while attending Master's or cooking classes.

As far as cooking as a job goes, I recommend trying to get an apprenticeship, whether at a restaurant, bakery, brewery, etc. You'd be learning and getting paid, seeing if you like the field, and it'd look great on your resume if you persue the cooking field.

As far as publishing books, there are many self-publishing companies out there. My brother has used Lulu.com. It may be worth checking out. But there are many other companies, too. Not only would you be getting your work out there and making some money, you could send actual published copies of your work to publishing houses.

It's not like when our grandparents were our age or even younger, when you could work even what is now considered a low-paying job, and buy a house and have a one-income family. Inflation sucks when incomes don't go up enough to keep up.

As far as the social issues you mentioned- my anxiety was a huge reason why grad school didn't work out for me. My social anxiety was really bad, plus mixed with all the assignments, in grad school, but working has helped a lot...I had worked before, but having jobs where I was forced to use the phone, for example, forced me to be comfortable calling up complete strangers and talking with them. I work in health insurance now, and I do have to talk with strangers on the phone, and sometimes they get mad, but I've learned that I can't take it personally, that they don't know me...I just wanted to let you know that, at least for me, just going through life and working has helped my social anxiety. My other anxiety is still pretty bad, and I'm learning to say "NO" to outside commitments/obligations to focus on myself right now.

I'm so sorry that you don't have a strong support system- that can be hugely scary. I ended up in an abusive relationship because I didn't and felt I had nowhere else to go; that forced me to have to rely on my parents to get out, and now we have a good relationship. I think that with your extended family, it's never too late to start building a relationship. Even by just sending out an email or a text, saying, "Long time no talk, was thinking of you, how are you?" can be a good starting point. Maybe then if you ever do need them for something bigger, they'd be more willing to help?

Once you do get a job, no matter how low- or high-paying, I highly advise making a budget. That way you can see what bills you must pay...I'm not sure if you're currently living with your parents, but if you're allowed to live with them, even for a while, that could help you save money, especially if you don't have the biggest paycheck, and then you could try finding a roomate or 2 or 3 once you have some money saved up.

My parents didn't want me to get my Master's degree, either. But I had a crappy job, I was fresh off a divorce, I needed a change for myself. And I got a couple internships out of it. At the end of the day, you have to do what feels right for you. I know that it feels like your time is wasting away, but you truly can start a different career if that's what you want to do.

For me, anxiety pills just make me too tired to have racing thoughts...but I have found that counseling and journaling have been very helpful. And with the internet, there are even internet counseling options, if you're more comfortable chatting online/email than going into a counselor's office.

I know we don't "know" each other, but I'm here for you.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 5:54 am 
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Thank you, Duster, Amy. I hope your doggy is better.

(And sorry for taking the time to reply, I sorta had to focus on other things and I sometimes get lost in trying to find the right words to describe).

I guess I just overall feel how dumb I was for choosing such a useless degree. But then again, back in the day in my teens I was pretty talentless, and most of the "high esteemed" careers overall like Law or Medicine really threw me off. I was always much more of an artistic person (literature, acting/theatre/film, fashion, music, art), but those degrees often don't lead to well paying jobs (at least where I live, you only manage to be successful in the arts if you have the right contacts). I was also a little discouraged to enter into any of that considering my art skills are pretty subpar and they would've rejected my portfolio, but I wouldn't have minded studying Graphic Design to get an idea of it.

I would've just studied Journalism, tbh. I love writing and gathering information and that would've gotten me more job opportunities. Get a general idea of it, and probably learn a little of photography, graphic design and video/music editing on the side to further my competent skills (I do know, but by myself on free courses and tutorials I've found on Tumblr, I kinda hope that's sufficient for employers when I send them my resume). And then read by my own literature/character/screenwriting/theatre stuff to further develop my writing skills, and then jump with releasing my novels.

Well, there are news. My father seems to like this one master I've found about International Journalism, and in a few weeks I'll get an interview to see if they're interested in accepting me. It's on another school than the one I did my career (but luckily in the same city), but I doubt they'll have issues with that. My mother won't like it, but I imagine this can work on both sides- with the International aspects I can learn a little of politics that can help me get into the Diplomatic Academy, and if that doesn't work I can still get job opportunities.

In 2/3 weeks I've got my final exams and have to present the final project, please give me strength or advice to study well and do good. A lot of stuff is entering well in my mind but I still need more and I'm a little afraid.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 1:47 am 
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It's ok that you took a while to respond. I've always been more into the artistic stuff, too, but like you said, you really have to standout, and get the right connections, to get paid well and become successful, unless you sell your art and writing on your own. That's really good news about the journalism master! For your exams, I would just calm myself by watching and listening to stuff that makes me happy in my free time, but study in between. Do intervals of stuff you enjoy between sections of study time.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 7:23 am 
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When I was younger, my mom would say that it doesn't really matter what you major in, as long as you have a degree. What I think is a necessary addition to that statement is: It depends what else you have in addition to the degree. I was a Communication major who graduated during the recession. I did extra curriculars only in high school, not college, and had a degree that wasn't "useful" during a recession. After college, I started volunteering extensively, to give me something to do and a) add to my resume, and b) prove that I wasn't just sitting at home like a lump on a log. Potential employers want to see that you're a hard worker who does something productive. Out of my volunteering came networking, and I got a (crappy, but still paying) job at a place I volunteered at. Because I was newly divorced and my $8/hr job wasn't enough to pay my rent and bills on my own, I went to graduate school (in another state) and lived off student loans. I just couldn't get a job, even a part-time one, where I moved. Which turned out to be a good thing in a way- grad school is more labor-intensive than undergrad. I ended up not passing everything in my 3rd-out-of 4th semester, so I would end up with no Master's degree, but I did have 2 internships under my belt from the experience. My volunteer work, crappy job, and 2 internships were all in the non-profit sector, so my resume showed that I had experience in that field. Talk up that experience in your cover letter, and during your interview for jobs-- always find skills you used in roles you had that can be applied to other jobs (transferrable job skills). A ball-fetcher at a tennis match needs to be attentive and follow orders; a volunteer stocking shelves at a library needs to pay attention to detail and interact with and provide information to library patrons.

It really is a matter of gaining those transferrable skills and showing potential employers that you have those skills, regardless of what roles/industries those skills were gained. Like in my previous post where I mentioned if you want to work in restaurants, look into apprenticeships: I just advise doing something (volunteer, intern, apprentice) to show that you're a hard worker with skills. And let people you meet at these places know that you're looking for work- someone just may know someone looking to hire!

(In my talking about myself so much and in my previous post, thedisneyspirit, my intent is that you can know that things do work out, degree-wise and job-wise, but it can take a while and some trial and error.)

(And Lucy, my dog...we're still waiting for the biopsy reports to come back, but the surgeon said her lymph node is not cancerous, which is great news. She has a lump where her lymph node was removed...waiting for that to go down.)


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 1:07 am 
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That's good to hear about your dog, Amy!

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:50 am 
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I'am glad your Dog is seemingly alright, Amy.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 10:36 am 
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Thank you both!! <3 <3 Still waiting on the biopsy results...


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2018 1:33 am 
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Yes, I'm glad to hear your doggie is doing better, Amy.

Out of interest, just how come a Communications degree is relatively useless? I sorta imagined it could lead to well paying jobs like Adversiting or Marketing and such.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2018 10:38 pm 
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I'm glad your dog is doing fine, blackcauldron85. :wave:

thedisneyspirit: My sympathies and best wishes although I'm definitely not someone who should give advice. blackcauldron85 is probably on the mark as far as cultivating as much experience as you can however you can. I can completely understand what you're going through though considering something similar happened to me when I graduated with a Bachelor's English degree and high school licensure, with perfect grades/highest honors, then was unable to find a job. My license expired a few years ago and I'm slowly going back through college in the medical field. Funnily enough, I thought I was being practical when I started college after high school. I thought of course teachers will always be needed, even if they aren't paid that well (all I wanted was enough income to be fairly stable and independent is all).... :roll: Meanwhile I learned in-process that NC is one of the worst states for teachers on top of the fact that on my way out of university, the entire system was changing (the university I went to didn't even offer licenses anymore after I left, only Education degrees). :lol:

The thing is that last year or two of school, I had this sinking feeling that this is how it would all shake out. Really nothing but restaurant jobs for me the past few years. Those first two years after finishing, I felt so burned-out by it all, which looking back I can more accurately see was a depression, just in the sense that depression is more than just being sad, but not feeling anything and losing interest in all the things that normally make you happy. On the plus side, everything has brought me closer to God. Anyway, forgive me for being a selfish speaker and going off on a tangent.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2018 1:02 am 
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Yes, getting experience will really help thedisneyspirit.

Disney's Divinity, I really hope you get the job you want. I'm sorry you went through school for English teaching (English? I love literature, I'm jealous!) but didn't get a job in it. I'm sorry you got depression (I have diagnosed depression I take medicine for and depression's the worst), and I'm sorry you had to take restaurant jobs (I was thinking of being a waiter for life but never even got hired as a waiter). If you get into the medicine field, that should pay super well and you'll have it rather good. I'm jealous. I'm not near as successful and I probably won't be. But I'll say a prayer you get a great job and like it.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2018 1:13 pm 
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No, Divinity, I think it's good to speak about these issues, and in a way can help and offer good advice. I mean, if anything, maybe we are all selfish, for choosing to study "Useless degrees" instead of going to study after something that offers more income. But god, not everybody can be a lawyer, a doctor or an engineer...It's good that you're going to college again for the medical field tho! That always has more open opportunities, even if it may take a while.

I think I'm going to try my best to get into the Journalism master. Today another offer was made to me to enter into a Fashion Design master, and while it's overall cheap, I'm not sure if it can help me in the long run. Fashion is very competitive, and while I do like it, I'm a little uncertain of pursuing it, if it can even offer good income or stable work. Again, I don't wanna go into another wild goose chase for a crazy master that may not help me in the long run, and get my parents angry at me again for choosing another useless degree. The one of Journalism may work out better, I dunno. I like fashion but i'm also good at writing and redacting information, and i see it as helping me further along if i try to enter into the Diplomatic Academy.

In a way, chatting has made me feel less stressed and worried, so I suppose that's good...? My biggest enemy is really my nerves, most of the time. Imagining horrible things is often what doesn't allow me to study better.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2018 12:57 am 
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Hey, no one is selfish for going after a degree in something they actually like! I think Journalism is the way to go. I'm glad you're feeling better. Imagine the good things that can happen!

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2018 10:28 pm 
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thedisneyspirit wrote:
Out of interest, just how come a Communications degree is relatively useless? I sorta imagined it could lead to well paying jobs like Adversiting or Marketing and such.

Well, whereas a Journalism degree often means one will pursue a journalism job (writer, editor, selling newspaper ads, um printing?, etc.), or a degree in English with a teaching concentration often leads to being an English teacher...I majored in Interpersonal/Organizational Communication. Unless one works by themselves, you need to communicate; I learned useful things, and I generally use some skills I learned every day. But Communicator is not a job; Journalist and English teacher are. If one has experience in another field, like journalism, marketing, etc., communication as a degree can help for sure, but communication just isn't a job field on its own, unless you're a translator, but then you need to be fluent in a second language!) My degree seems like it'd be a good additive. The skills I learned, and having to do lots of presentations helped this introvert be comfortable speaking to crowds, though- I definitely gained skills, but not enough to be prepared for a profession, if that makes sense. I know that my college stopped offering my degree program years ago...I'm not sure exactly why or what similar degree they replaced it with...

[I was an education major at one point, but not for long- I didn't want to pigeon-hole myself. And coincedentally, because I worked on our high school newspaper, I thought about majoring in Journalism. If my parents would have gone for it, I would have majored in Film (I ended up minoring in it instead). I really wanted originally to be a music teacher, when I was in middle school, but I wasn't exactly allowed to pursue music; right out of high school, I enrolled in college like I was "supposed to," and chose Marketing because I felt that I could pass the classes.  And I didn't feel like I could pass the math and science classes to major in my other interest, nutrition. But I took a semester off after high school instead of going to the college I had chosen...I wasn't allowed to do much, and I, too, have anxiety and depression, and I just needed to live and try and make decisions...and when I did start college, I started at community college, majoring in General Studies, I think, initially, then becoming an Education major, then changing again to General Studies. I got my Associate's Degree in that. I knew I wanted to study film; if my school allowed it, I would've studied TV/Radio and film, but your major and minor couldn't be in the same "family." So I minored in an interest of mine, Film, + like I said, thought of Journalism, but went with Communication-- it seemed broad enough, where I could get some kind of entry-level job in it.] This was before I knew that a degree alone won't get you a job in many cases, that you need experience as well.

The thing with a major where you're not trained to do one type of thing (unlike Journalist, Chef, Accountant, etc.) is that, especially when you're young and besides school you've only worked part-time as a cashier, especially when you graduate in an economic recession like I did-- you don't have much to offer, in the eyes of hiring managers.  You're a dime-a-dozen.  So many people have a degree, and that's all they have.  I had a crappy internship in undergrad (the company closed while I was an intern- I don't know if they even did any actual work!); I was no different in the eyes of a hiring manager than any other recent graduate who had part-time minimum-wage-type jobs and no other experience.  Hiring managers want to see summer internships at prestigious companies, and work in your field, even if you're the coffee-getter, not cashiering at your local grocery store.  [I couldn't get a job for 2 years after college; during that time, I did volunteer work, so I got hired at a non-profit I volunteered in-- I was "working" (working without pay!) in the same field I got hired in.]

Journalism looks a lot different in 2018 than it did in the past; I imagine that having a blog (that gets hits) and being a freelance writer are almost a necessity to get hired with a Journalism degree.

So many words I just typed.  Everything above to drive home the point: So many people have degrees; it's what else you bring to the table, your experience (in your field) that will make someone want to hire you.  With Journalism, make sure you keep a portfolio with writing samples, so you'll have a variety of work to show when you're submitting your resume.

Disney's Divinity wrote:
Funnily enough, I thought I was being practical when I started college after high school. I thought of course teachers will always be needed, even if they aren't paid that well (all I wanted was enough income to be fairly stable and independent is all).
I remember (I don't remember if this was during my brief stint as an Education major or after) my dad saying that teachers were being laid off (I guess at a higher-than-usual rate)-- it's crazy, because one thinks of education as a field that will always be in need of workers, but then there are layoffs and hiring freezes.  It just sucks.  I really think that people "our age" just will never have the upper hand in general.  My grandfather was a house painter, and owned a house, a car, had 5 kids, and had a one-income household (funnily enough, my  grandmother went to school to become a teacher, and graduated and became a teacher, but she hated it after 2 years, maybe even less! + she quit), and his income as a house painter paid all the bills. (He had been in the military during WWII as well.) Income hasn't kept up with inflation; I just read an article in Time Magazine from May; in 1975, the average of the lowest 10% of incomes ($12,000) is only $2,000 less than the 2018 average of the lowest 10% of incomes ($14,000). Obviously the cost of living has increased more than $2,000 in the past 40+ years!  And don't get me started on housing costs, whether renting or owning.  We're just kind of set up to fail.  Older people wonder why we wait to get married/have kids, and have lots of roommates, and find pleasures in things like avocado toast; we can't afford fancy vacations, or any vacations, so we indulge in $5 avocado toasts, thank you very much.

I have a lot of feelings. :p

Disney's Divinity wrote:
Really nothing but restaurant jobs for me the past few years. Those first two years after finishing, I felt so burned-out by it all, which looking back I can more accurately see was a depression, just in the sense that depression is more than just being sad, but not feeling anything and losing interest in all the things that normally make you happy.


On top of already dealing with depression, it's soul-crushing when you work so hard towards a goal (a degree in a certain field), and the end result is a job you could have done straight out of high school.  :(  When you're younger, even only in books/movies/TV shows, but often by people you know, you're told that you can be what you want to be as long as you work hard towards it! and the end result is lots of debt with a low-paying job, and an even worse depression than you may have before because you're struggling and feeling like a failure. (I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, DD, or put your feelings in my words, of course...I just relate to your story, and to lots of our stories in here. <3)


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