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PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2014 8:22 pm 
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PETER PAN: (as they take off in Captain Hook's ship) Bring me that horizon!


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PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 6:09 pm 
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Big Disney Fan wrote:
PETER PAN: (as they take off in Captain Hook's ship) Bring me that horizon!


I don't get it.

Am I dumb? :mischief:


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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 12:25 pm 
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Jules wrote:
Big Disney Fan wrote:
PETER PAN: (as they take off in Captain Hook's ship) Bring me that horizon!


I don't get it.

Am I dumb? :mischief:


Well, they're on a pirate ship, ready to leave.

Anyway, lately, there have been several guest judges on "Dancing With the Stars", and with that in mind, here's something that would happen if Statler and Waldorf served as guest judges (for this, I'm using Meryl Davis and Maksim Chmerkovskiy, because they have the most points thus far):

ANNOUNCER: Will the judges please reveal their scores? Statler?
STATLER: Zero!
ANNOUNCER: Waldorf?
WALDORF: One!
STATLER: You're giving Meryl and Maks a one?
WALDORF: They've never been better.
S&W: Dohohohohohoho!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:04 pm 
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Maleficent: I will not ask you for forgiveness. What I have done is unforgivable. I was so lost in hatred and revenge. I never dreamed that I could love you so much. You stole what was left of my heart. And now I've lost you forever.

... Oh wait.

... Disney and went and made a movie based entirely on things Maleficent would never say.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 3:56 pm 
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Maleficent: Ohh, poor sweet Aurora, I'll give her a nice present for her birthday and then leave, after all why should I take off my anger with a little girl

Iago: We must save the orphans!

Marlin: Nemo's lost? Oh well, better go find a new mate or something.

Buzz: *to Jessie, in his Cajun mode* Do ya have hair of yarn down there your legs missy?

Jessie: *excited* Let's find out!

Chip and Dale: How about FOR ONCE we leave that duck alone.

*Aladdin is making out with Jasmine, then she stops*

Jasmine: You know I'm not wearing panties right?

Aladdin: SCORE!

Gill: WE'LL MEET AGAIN, SPIDERMAAAAN!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 6:38 pm 
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Jules wrote:
Semaj wrote:
Merlin: "I can't teach this kid. He's too stupid!"


:lol: I always thought Wart never seemed particularly bright in the film.


Well, Merlin was none too pleased to learn that Wart was eligible to become Kay's squire. "A fine monkey used for polishing boots!" as Merlin derisively puts it.

Anyway...

thedisneyspirit wrote:
Chip and Dale: How about FOR ONCE we leave that duck alone.


It might have been put up before, but just in case it hasn't (and I'm not saying it hasn't)...

HUEY, DEWEY AND LOUIE: How about FOR ONCE we leave our uncle alone!


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:08 pm 
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Big Disney Fan wrote:
Jules wrote:
Semaj wrote:
Merlin: "I can't teach this kid. He's too stupid!"


:lol: I always thought Wart never seemed particularly bright in the film.


Well, Merlin was none too pleased to learn that Wart was eligible to become Kay's squire. "A fine monkey used for polishing boots!" as Merlin derisively puts it.

Anyway...

thedisneyspirit wrote:
Chip and Dale: How about FOR ONCE we leave that duck alone.


It might have been put up before, but just in case it hasn't (and I'm not saying it hasn't)...

HUEY, DEWEY AND LOUIE: How about FOR ONCE we leave our uncle alone!



Hey, don't steal from me!


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:41 pm 
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thedisneyspirit wrote:
Hey, don't steal from me!


Well, I didn't know that it was used already. I did mention that it might have been. And I didn't know that was stealing. Sorry.

The last time I came up with something entirely my own, like with Peter Pan saying, "Bring me that horizon!" (in imitation of Capt. Jack Sparrow), no one seemed to get it. I had to explain it. And no one seemed to respond to it afterward; they just moved on.

But like I said, I didn't know that was stealing. I'm sorry. :(

Anyway, here's something no, but NO ONE, has done before:

PLUTO: The world owes me a living!

Does anyone get THIS? :?


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 1:39 pm 
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Big Disney Fan wrote:
PLUTO: The world owes me a living!

Does anyone get THIS? :?


Soooooooo ...

Maybe it's because Pluto is a dog, LIKE Goofy, who is however an anthropomorphic dog, who was initially voice by Pinto Colvig, who also did the voice of the Grasshopper in the Silly Symphony called The Grashopper and the Ants, who used to sing a song called The World Owes Me A Living!!

Is that it? 8)


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 3:25 pm 
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Jules wrote:
Big Disney Fan wrote:
PLUTO: The world owes me a living!

Does anyone get THIS? :?


Soooooooo ...

Maybe it's because Pluto is a dog, LIKE Goofy, who is however an anthropomorphic dog, who was initially voice by Pinto Colvig, who also did the voice of the Grasshopper in the Silly Symphony called The Grashopper and the Ants, who used to sing a song called The World Owes Me A Living!!

Is that it? 8)


Yep. That's it.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 6:35 am 
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OMG I'm a genius. rotfl


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 12:26 pm 
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Since the Muppets are now affiliated with Disney, and they apparently now have ownership of "Muppet Babies":

MUPPET BABIES' NANNY: Is everything all right in here?
BABIES: (in unison) Yes, Nanny!
(she turns to leave)
BABY KERMIT: Say hi to the Beaver and Wally for us!

(For those of you who didn't get it, the Nanny was voiced by Barbara Billingsley, who played June Cleaver on "Leave It To Beaver".)


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 1:25 am 
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Lampwick: "WHEEEE, I'm a JACKASS!!!!" =D

Baloo: "I can't dance to save my life." :(

Bernard: "Aww, do we REALLY have to rescue that little brat?!"

Jessica Rabbit: "That's it, I'm getting a breast reduction!"

Pocahontas: "Wait a minute, why did I just dive off a cliff? HELLLLLP!"

Prince Hans: "Oh Anna...I love you so much"

Baymax: "REPEAL OBAMACARE!" :x

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"OH COME ON, REALLY?!?!"


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PostPosted: Tue May 10, 2016 12:44 pm 
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FOULFELLOW: (steering Pinocchio away from school) Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 2:12 pm 
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I know I posted this already a long time ago, but in light of recent events, I thought this was relevant once again...

The Disney Forum

INTRODUCTION
Peter David once wrote a rather humorous script called 'But I digress', where Snow White, Ariel, Belle and Jasmine got together and discussed various topics. The characters were satirised to the extreme, with all the Disney characters insulting each other and making wise remarks. If you want to see, Tony Cha's got a transcript on his webpage. (Tony, I expect to be well paid for this advertising. :)) Having perhaps a little too much time on my hands, I decided to adapt his idea into a completely new script. Instead of a roundtable discussion, the Disney characters appear on a fictious talk show (so don't bother searching the Disney channel for this one :)) and all the characters are from the modern era (i.e. post-TLM). I tried to keep the number down so some heroines, namely Nala and Esmeralda, do not appear in this script. To fans of those characters, my apologies. But why post this to the Arielholics mailing list, you might wonder... hmmm, I'm wondering that too, so if anyone figures out, email me. :) Finally, this script will be put up on Anita's webpage. In the unlikely chance that you actually like this script and somehow delete it, go to Anita's page. Good ol' Anita, you can always depend on her. (Anita, I expect to be well paid by you as well :)) So if you've got some time, feel extremely bored and want to waste a few minutes, read on:

DISCLAIMER: This script is rated R. It has coarse language, high level violence, adult themes, nudity and sex scenes. (Yeah!!!) Just kidding. (Aww...) Some scenes may offend or shock some readers. The writer of this script accepts no responsibility for any psychological trauma inflicted by this script. Let's assume Freud was right, so sue your mom instead.

WALT DISNEY PICTURES
AND TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX
IN ASSOCIATION WITH FREEDOM PRODUCTIONS LIMITED
PROUDLY PRESENT
THE DISNEY FORUM
A PLAY BY JOEL KING

STARRING
ARIEL
BELLE
JASMINE
POCAHONTAS
MEGARA
AND THE ARIELHOLICS
SPECIAL GUEST STAR ANASTASIA
(I'M SERIOUS ABOUT THAT ONE)
AND THE SEVEN DWARFS
(OKAY, MAYBE NOT ABOUT THAT ONE)

---

ACT ONE, SCENE ONE: BACKSTAGE OF A TV STUDIO

Ariel and Belle are talking.

BELLE: (complaining) And he's so uncommunicative. We never talk anymore. Personally, I think he's been busy with that cleaning maid.

ARIEL: (sympathetically) All men are like that. The only things Eric says nowadays are "Are you going to eat that?" and "Stop hogging the blanket."

Jasmine walks up to them.

ARIEL: (whispering) Ugh... don't look now. It's Miss Street Mouse.

JASMINE: Hey, do you know where the bathroom is?

ARIEL: (helpfully) I think it's down that corridor.

JASMINE: Thanks.

Jasmine leaves.

BELLE: Ariel, that's the exit.

ARIEL: (exaggerating) Whoops. Geez, how could I make such a mistake?

Debbie opens a side door and looks at them.

DEBBIE: Hey, you guys are on in five minutes! Got it? (looks at them again) I thought Jasmine was going to be here.

ARIEL: She must have got... um, lost.

DEBBIE: Whatever. Five minutes!

---

ACT TWO, SCENE TWO: ONSTAGE

Dan walks onstage. Everyone claps.

DAN: (nods) Thank you, thank you. Please, please.
Applause stops.
Hi, I'm your host, Dan Black, and welcome to the Disney Forum. Today we've got some special guests on the show. They'll be telling us their thoughts on the topic of the public impact of their respective films. Please give a warm welcome to Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas and Meg!

Applause as Ariel, Belle, Pocahontas and Meg enter. They wave and then sit down. The applause continues for another minute and then stops.

DAN: Okay, welcome on the show.

ARIEL: Thanks, Dan.

In the audience, Jay raises his hand.

DAN: Hey, we're one minute into the show and we already have a question. Go ahead, Jay.

Jay stands.

JAY: I thought Jasmine was going to be here as well.

ARIEL: She must have got lost.

BELLE: Yeah, with all those confusing corridors backstage, it's bound to happen to anyone. After all, she's been stuck in a palace all her life. No wonder she's got a lousy sense of direction.

Jay sits down.

DAN: Okay, today's topic is: What sort of impact do you think each of your films had on the general public? We'll start with Meg.

MEG: Well, I think "Hercules" did pretty well. It was fresh and entertaining.

ARIEL: It was a flop!

POCAHONTAS: I rather liked yours, Meg.

MEG: Thanks, Pocahontas.

BELLE: (to Pocahontas) Yours was a flop too! Everyone was expecting so much after "The Lion King" and you let us down!

POCAHONTAS: Well, sor-rie for not having any stupid 'happy-happy' songs with lots of little animals dancing.

ARIEL: They're not stupid! They played a crucial part in the movie, although I don't know what the point of "Be Our Guest" was.

BELLE: Hey! I thought you were on my side!

MEG: Whooo... what cutting betrayal! Et tu, Ariel?

ARIEL: Shut up! No one asked for your smart aleck comments!

MEG: What's the matter? The little princess can dish it out, but can't hack it herself?

Marci raises her hand.

ALL: What?

Marci stands up.

MARCI: Not that I don't enjoy seeing my favorite Disney characters argue like a bunch of fighting cocks...

Paul looks at her strangely.

MARCI: Not those sorts of cocks!

PAUL: Oh.

DAN: Go on, Marci.

ARIEL: Can we try to speed this up? I've got a merchandising meeting to attend soon.

POCAHONTAS: I promised to help with the harvest.

MARCI: Okay, okay. Disney seems to be moving away from the "prince/princess fairy tale" sort of story. What do you think about it?

MEG: Obviously, it's an indication that spoiled little princesses aren't needed anymore.

ARIEL: That's not true! The classic fairy tale has always taught little children important morals!

MEG: Like the only thing important to women is a hunky husband?

POCAHONTAS: Well, in all fairness, Meg, Hercules is rather "hunky" himself.

ARIEL: (dreamingly) Yeah... he's so beautiful.

BELLE: Isn't that what you said about Eric?

ARIEL: (snaps back to reality) What?

BELLE: You said Eric was (patronizingly) "so beautiful" as well.

ARIEL: Well, just because I'm married doesn't mean I can't look.

MEG: That's all that seems to matter to you, Ariel: looks, looks, looks. Face it, you're just another hormone-driven teenager.

ARIEL: I resent that comment!

MEG: You would!

ARIEL: At least I'm not a feministic man-hater!

MEG: At least I'm not a spoiled little bimbo!

DAN: Um, I think we'll take a short break.

---

ACT TWO, SCENE TWO: ONSTAGE

DAN: Welcome back. In case you've just tuned into the Disney Forum, today's topic is: What sort of impact did certain Disney films have on the general public. Belle's been rather quiet. We'll start with her.

BELLE: I think "Beauty and the Beast" is a great picture.

MEG: We're not too up ourselves, are we?

BELLE: Hey, the public thought so. We got six Academy Award nominations! Including Best Picture!

POCAHONTAS: Here we go again...

ARIEL: I think you ran on my movie's momentum. If it wasn't for "The Little Mermaid", yours wouldn't have done half as well.

Tony raises his hand. Dan nods and Tony stands up.

TONY: I don't believe that's true, Ariel. "Beauty and the Beast" is a wonderful film in its own right.

MEG: I liked the musical version better. Especially the original Broadway one. That Belle had a great voice. Really superb.

POCAHONTAS: Look who's talking about people being up themselves.

DAN: Okay, Ariel, what about your film?

ARIEL: I think "The Little Mermaid" was the one which gave new life into Disney animation. Face it, before my film, Disney was having a dry run. All the ones after mine rode on its success.

TONY: Hey, I just said...

Ariel clicks her fingers and a group of loyalist Arielholics led by Urchin take him away.

ARIEL: Now, what was I doing again?

MEG: Inflating your own ego.

ARIEL: Hey, look at my following! I've got my own annual convention!

MEG: A bunch of obsessed fanatics all flocking to Disney World and dancing like idiots in a parade. Gee, I'm so jealous.

ANITA: Excuse me, I organized that!

MEG: Now we know who to blame.

TIM: ArielCon was good fun!

MEG: Mindless fun is more like it.

ARIEL: (to Meg) At least I have a following.

BELLE: No offense, Ariel, but a lot of your followers are also big fans of the rest of us as well. We have followings of our own too.

ARIEL: Hey, my film's been re-released twice!

MEG: Haven't they suffered enough already?

ARIEL: You're lucky that yours is getting on video! I mean, that song "I Won't Say" is just awful!

BELLE: I thought it was a fascinating commentary on a rather complex psychological state.

POCAHONTAS: What?

MEG: Thanks, Belle... I think. Back to my song - it's refreshing and new. I mean, yours is just stupid, Ariel. "Where they don't reprimand their daughters?" Yeah, right! Talk about naive!

Jasmine enters.

JASMINE: (angrilly) Ariel!!!

POCAHONTAS: Hey, she's back.

BELLE: To state the obvious.

DAN: Well, it's time for a break. Stay tuned.

---

ACT TWO, SCENE THREE: ONSTAGE

DAN: Welcome back. Okay, let's continue the discussion with Pocahontas. How do you feel your film went?

POCAHONTAS: Although it wasn't necessarily a financial success, it brought a sense of seriousness to Disney animation, as well as considering many ethical issues.

BELLE: In other words, it was a documentary.

MEG: And not very historically accurate at that.

Marci stands up.

MARCI: (shouting) It's a movie! It's not meant to be historically accurate.

MEG: Hey, look. It's a loony Arielholic. Security!

Marci is dragged away. Celia tackles a security guard. The rest of the Arielholics attack the security people.

DOUG: Die, you pathetic piece of pond scum!!!

WILLIAM: You call this bacon?

DREY: What lovely grapes!

CERI: Hey! Someone's touching me!

LORI: Some cheese, one pound!

SIRENA: I... can't... breathe...

TERRI: Ten yards.

STEVE: I'll get the knife.

TERRY: Ow!

SHAD: Excuse me! Please let me through!

CHRIS: Who's got their foot in my face?

JEFF: This bread...

OCARINA: I've got mace!

ANNA: Those fish... they smell!

JOEL: Argh!!!

JOZEF: Madam's mistaken.

Dan ignores the fight.

DAN: Please continue.

POCAHONTAS: I thought "Colors of the Wind" was especially significant. Not only was it breathtaking, but it also highlighted the issue of land abuse and respect for nature.

BELLE: How environmentally sound.

MEG: Greenie on the loose!

ARIEL: (gasping) Help me!

DAN: Um, Jasmine, perhaps you can stop strangling Ariel for a minute and talk to us about what impact your film had.

JASMINE: She tricked me!

ARIEL: (between gasps) It... wasn't... very... difficult.

Jasmine strangles Ariel even more. Pocahontas and Belle grab Jasmine and force her away from Ariel.

POCAHONTAS: Stop it! We're all connected in the circle of life! Whoops, wrong film.

BELLE: And Ariel's a fellow Disney heroine!

MEG: More importantly, Ariel's a profitable corporate trademark.

DAN: Okay, let's continue with Jasmine's comments.

JASMINE: "Aladdin" was obviously a remarkable success. It was about dreams coming true and exploring whole new worlds.

MEG: "Dreams coming true?" "Exploring whole new worlds?" How tacky can you get?

ARIEL: Sounds like mine.

BELLE: And a bit like mine.

ARIEL: Maybe that's why our films did well, Meg. Unlike some others I won't mention...

A young woman with brown hair and blue eyes walks onstage.

POCAHONTAS: Who are you?

JASMINE: You look familiar...

BELLE: Anastasia?

ANYA: How's it going?

MEG: Hey, this is the Disney Forum.

ANYA: Yeah, but everyone thinks I'm a Disney character so I may as well hang out with you people.

MEG: Sure, okay. At least you seem more intelligent than most of these people. Then again, a toaster would be smarter than these four spoiled brats.

DAN: Er, okay. So, um, Anastasia...

ANYA: Anastasia's kinda formal. You can call me Anya, Dan.

Anya smiles at him. Dan blushes.

DAN: Okay, Anya, what sort of impact did you think your film have?

ANYA: As you already know, "Anastasia" is Fox's first real attempt at epic animation. I think it's good in that it's challenging Disney's hold on the market and hopefully creating a little competition, which should raise standards.

ARIEL: I think you copied a lot of my clothes.

ANYA: You're just upset that our two films were pitted against each other. Nice try, but I still kicked.

ARIEL: Laugh it up, but you're taking on the almighty Disney, Anya. Such a futile effort. Soon, your pathetic little rebellion will be vanquished, along with your friends... yes, good, I feel the hatred within you. Take your weapon. Strike me down.

ANYA: I'll never turn to the Disney Side!

ARIEL: It is the only way to save your friends. Your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong, especially for... your dog. So you have a dog... now your thoughts have betrayed him too. If you will not turn to the Disney Side, then perhaps he will!

ANYA: Noooooo!!!

Anya charges at Ariel.

ARIEL: Argh!!! You stupid Fox character! Get therapy!

BELLE: (to Meg) Ten bucks on Ariel.

MEG: You're on. Go, Anya!

DAN: That's all we have time for. Join us tomorrow for tomorrow's topic: Should the Contemporary Resort, built in the 1970s, be renamed? Remember the magic, everyone!

THE END


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