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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2016 10:33 pm 
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Disney Guru wrote:
bradhig wrote:
AM I BEING IGNORED somebody answer me now.


Cool it, when you get erratic it doesn't prompt people to want to communicate with you quite the opposite actually.


I just had a panic attack when I didn't get any responses before that caused by Anxiety


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 2:19 am 
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Don't worry bradhig, a lot of times people just can't think of anything or want to saying anything to a lot of people's posts. People are still seeing your posts.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 11:11 pm 
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I know I don't reveal too much of myself on here (besides pretty generic, surface-level stuff), but I've decided to do so as I do feel like the universe has stomped on me a little bit.

So, I work at Barnes & Noble as a regular, part-time employee. A position for the Kids' Lead opened up suddenly when one of the two Leads left in November. I was then kind of handed the job of managing all of the Teen books. For some unknown reason, the position wasn't posted as available to apply until the middle of February. So, from November until the beginning of March, I was handling the Teen books, completing projects, and doing anything and everything that involved that department. I was doing a pretty good job; I was told as much by my fellow employees and the management. Well, I applied for the position and was just told that I did not get the job because of "timing" and that a more "aggressive" person was desired. I honestly feel like I've been punched in the face. The person who got the job hasn't done any projects in the Teen department; she doesn't know how to optimize books (adding in the new and taking out the old); she would basically have to be taught how to do everything. Now, I like her. She's great and funny, but she doesn't have any of the bookselling experience that I have.

I'm just mad. I don't get it. The store manager, with whom I interviewed, didn't even tell me. The assistant store manager told me (who obviously disagreed with the decision). I'm just kind of at a loss, and I don't really feel like working there anymore. Unfortunately, that $20,000+ student loans have to be repaid. I'm just happy that I don't have to work tomorrow.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 4:04 am 
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Aw, that is terrible and bull crap. You don't deserve that. WTF? I'm sorry for you, Sequel. I hope you get another opportunity at a better job, either at Barnes and Noble or another place. With the great work you do, maybe that will happen sooner than later.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 9:05 pm 
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Disney Duster wrote:
Aw, that is terrible and bull crap. You don't deserve that. WTF? I'm sorry for you, Sequel. I hope you get another opportunity at a better job, either at Barnes and Noble or another place. With the great work you do, maybe that will happen sooner than later.


Thanks for your thoughts, Duster. Like I said yesterday, I'm glad that I had today off. I watched a couple of movies, I started reading The Book Thief, and I've done a bit of editing on a book I've been commissioned to edit. So, today was a pretty good day, especially compared to the last few.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:35 am 
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Ah, good to hear. Sounds like it was pretty great.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2016 10:57 am 
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disneyboy20022 wrote:
Well just when I think my life has reached it's maximum limit of being uniqulely insane that no one goes through situations that no one in Hollywood could be creatve enoguh to come up with that is actually my reality I'm proven completely wrong. I'm not going to go into too much or many details at all as it's so bizzare that yeah it's too sensiteive to post on any open board. Yeah it's that complicated and I've never been shy away from posting issues. If you think you know what it might be, trust me you don't.

However I did recieve some amazingly complete 180 turn into a positive of hope today. I just pray to God that the miracle that happens continues to develop and what's going on can be nothing but an unpleasant thoguht


Well the complicated situation has been shockingly resolved. Took from October to April for it to be done, it is finished.

It's been dificualt living without my Twinkle cat, but two other male cats have been coming up for me and fighting for my attention. They in no way shape or form replace Twinkle, but no other cat could replace the two I have as well.

Back in 2012 my body was weak from being off my Crohn's pills for 9 months, of the details I don't want to say again as it would take too long (as an alternative here's this link viewtopic.php?f=4&t=28830)

Ended up getting a herniated disc, lasted from 2012 to 2013 with 8 epidurals between June of 2012 and February of 2013 and the last four seemingly cured me of my pain, I have been able to walk again, took up responsibilties like doing laundry and such. Never felt so much strenght in me before, started college after being out for of school for 11 years and such things. I was even able to lose weight the correct way and lost 160 pounds from what I weighed back in 2008

However, just had a mini flare pop up with the well now it's Ulceratice Colitis but anyway and guess what? The beginning of the month as I was walking around campus, I felt a crunch in my spine happen, and the pain that I had bore the memory out of my mind had returned. I was actually in denial, how can this be happening again? So I sat down the pain got better and went on my way, but in reality I felt the pain there, I just didn't want to re-live within my autistisc brain the tramatic effects I had the last go about, of which are a bunhc of drama trauma moronic doctors, but I digress.

A couple weeks ago though, I could not keep myself in denial any longer, it was hurting and bad. Went to the ER, gave me some meds and I'm scheduled to have an epidural on the 13th. However, it has become increasingly hard to walk, so a community thrift store has loaned me a wheel chair and said return it whenever you feel you don't need to use it. Mainly the chair is for getting around at college on campus. In the past couple days, its becoming harder to even walk into the kitchen and back to the living room without the pain hurting like heck. I had forgotten what true pain had felt like, and I hated every aspect of it. My hope now though is that the one epidural will do the trick, and this will not be dragged out for the betters part of through next year. Whatever the outcome is, I give it God, for things happen that sometimes I don't understand, but I have faith in God that he's got my back and I trust him with all my heart and all my soul, for my redeemer lives, Jesus Christ.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers during this really rough time.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 1:23 am 
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Oh man disneyboy, still sorry about your cat but glad you have two others. Sorry about the terrible pains you've been through and now the terror striking again! I really hope this goes away as soon as possible. I will pray for you.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 11:28 pm 
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Disney Duster wrote:
Oh man disneyboy, still sorry about your cat but glad you have two others. Sorry about the terrible pains you've been through and now the terror striking again! I really hope this goes away as soon as possible. I will pray for you.



My first Epidural at the end of April didn't do much, but got through the college semester in the wheel chair, and was hard to study with the pain, but I retained my 4.0 GPA

So, before I had another epidural, I had an MRI and it shows that my back issues have gotten worse. I now have 3 herniated discs, located on L4 L5 and S1 in my lower back. So I had another epidural and the doctor did it at a level in my back, and it actually began to hurt, so the doctor stopped and gave me more numbing medicine and he must have gotten the steroids in a good spot, because right now I'm essentially in less pain. However I can't over do it, and have to pace myself. Below is a diagram of where l4 l5 and s1 are located in my back

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And with one door or one problem essentially solved another one comes up, as is this game of cat and mouse.

I went to see my psychiatrist who I've been seeing for 13 years is leaving out of state, too far for me to travel to,

So, after asking a friend, I'm gonna see this new guy and I hope he'll be able to continue giving me the care that my current psych doctor has, and not just pull me off my pills and undermine 13 years worth of progress to mold me into how I am today.

Also, a friend of the family died, and we are actually going to take his cat in to live with us. So, I guess it's not all bad, just hope the new psych doctor is amazing and good and not a quack

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 12:19 am 
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Oh, that looks so terrible disneyboy! But I'm glad it is less painful now. Is there a way to fix the problem, like fix the herniated discs? I hope your new psychiatrist is good. You can tell him what your old one did for you and how what they did for you helped you so much, so then that may help him to know how to keep helping you the same. I'm sorry that family friend died. But I'm glad you have a new cat now!

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 7:35 am 
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Disney Duster wrote:
Oh, that looks so terrible disneyboy! But I'm glad it is less painful now. Is there a way to fix the problem, like fix the herniated discs? I hope your new psychiatrist is good. You can tell him what your old one did for you and how what they did for you helped you so much, so then that may help him to know how to keep helping you the same. I'm sorry that family friend died. But I'm glad you have a new cat now!


Well, on regards of fixing the herniated discs, that's a bit of a tough subject. Four years ago when I had the herniated disc the first time, the surgeon didn't want to do surgery but it wasn't because of my wait, but because of how flexible I am. He decided that given how I took my underwear off without taking my shorts off to impress Ed Asner on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno and how I can flex my arms forward to look like I'm doing a chicken wing. Heck as I walk my knee and hip pops in and out of place. He didn't want to cut into anything that could do further damage because the pain is not the herniated discs themselves, but the nerves around it, telling my brain I hurt. In some cases herniated discs have been work on surgically, but the patient pain never went away. So the goal for getting better is get out of pain.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 2:20 am 
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Ohhhh I see. Well then I hope they end the pain however they can.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 4:58 pm 
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Disney Duster wrote:
Ohhhh I see. Well then I hope they end the pain however they can.


Well I went to look at yard sales on Friday and Saturday and right now the pain in my back or more like my hip is hurting rather badly. I may have spoke too soon. Ugh. Just gonna rest the next couple days. That's the hardest part about it all, one moment I feel I'm doing great, but later it all comes crashing down.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 12:27 am 
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Aw, that's sad. Well I'll keep praying for you that the pain is fixed eventually. At least it goes away sometimes. Also, I must commend you for keeping a 4.0 GPA in college. That's amazingly great!

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 11:16 pm 
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Disney Duster wrote:
Aw, that's sad. Well I'll keep praying for you that the pain is fixed eventually. At least it goes away sometimes. Also, I must commend you for keeping a 4.0 GPA in college. That's amazingly great!


And the bubble burst has happened. I am now back to square one, with quite possibly even more pain than ever. Hurts to sit, lay down, and I find my arthritis in knee cap has become rather swollen. Of course it doesn't help when said knee cap pops in an out of place as I walk or I get up from laying down. Why it does that, I have no clue. Gonna go see the primary doctor about that next Tuesday, and then the following Tuesday the 28th it's epidural day. So, I hope there is an end to this misery of pain I feel. I wrote this poem I guess I'd call it a poem about may pain and what's going on within my head dealing with the pain I have.

Inside of me, there is pain that is unrelenting and unmerciful within me. No matter how much I try to ignore it, the pain is still there causing me to lose my sanity and my sleep. Am I destined to be like this for the rest of my days, to never be able to enjoy walking again? How much longer can I go on with this pain, trying to use the facade that I am feeling great and eager to do stuff, when I can barely lay down without pain? Oh How I dream and wish the day would come sooner, when this horrible pain within me is relieved and healed, and I no longer have to feel weak as I do now.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2016 12:08 am 
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Oh, no! That's terrible! Oh, I'm really sad for you. I can't believe what happened. I liked your poem. I'll keep praying for you. I really hope you get better soon.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:12 pm 
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Michael, wow. You have been so brave and through so much already. I can't imagine dealing with the constant pain. You have a great attitude, though. I will definitely be keeping you in my thoughts. Enjoy your animals and give each other joy!!! (And I'm so sorry about Twinkle. So sorry. I'm sure that he is keeping a watch on you!)


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 12:24 am 
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Had my third and hopefully, final epidural last Tuesday. I talked with the pain doctor, and told him that I felt where he did the epidural the second time really helped, a lot and last longer, so he put the epidural in the same spot. I'm feeling better, being able to walk though how long it lasts is anyone's guess. I pray this one will be it, and will be working on my exercises from physical therapy as well. I do know that whenever college starts up again and if my back is healed, I will be pushing a back pack on wheels around college as I don't think it has been great on my back to carry backpacks full of books around campus going ever which way.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 7:15 pm 
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Yay! Great to hear, Michael! And yea, using a backback with wheels sounds like a good idea.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:44 pm 
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Well, thought I'd share an update on my status of my back.

The third epidural seems to have done the trick. Today I went to college to participate in a Pokemon Go event, and walked all over campus, farther than I've ever gone on foot at the college since I started 3 years ago. Got another epidural scheduled for October, but it's looking good. Next week I return to college, and will be using a back pack on wheels as carrying a heavy backpack will be too much stress on it.

Also the walking I did, I didn't feel sore in ways like my herniated disc was hurting, but more like I got a good workout. Probably walked at least 3 miles. So, I'm on top of the world, so happy, ready for the next crisis, but I know I have God in my corner.

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