The Universe has stomped on me thread. Rant or clear the air

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CJ
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The Universe has stomped on me thread. Rant or clear the air

Post by CJ »

So in a drug induced state (doctor prescribed, I swear), I recently hijacked another thread( I know, bad, bad, mod). Basically, I needed to vent and re-establish some of the humanity that I have lost while moderating. I figure that I might need to rant some more one day, and rather than hijack anymore unsuspecting threads, I will use this one. And since I know that I cannot possibly be the only one who needs to vent, this thread will serve as a place for everyone to share or vent. Of course forum rules still apply, no personal attacks of any kind(especially those that are thinly disguised) will be allowed.

Has life got you down? share with CJ, the "Universe has crapped on me expert".
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Post by CJ »

For context purposes, here is my original rant taken from the Disney Essence thread:
You love to close; it's all you ever do anymore!
You know why it is all I ever do anymore? I will tell you why, it is because moderating comes before my personal posting. That is the responsibility I took on when I signed up for the job. And it is a suck-all- the- life out you job. One where I am damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. I can’t make everyone happy all the time, that is never going to happen. There will always be someone who will think I made a poor judgment call on any given discussion I make. Thankfully, I don’t have to answer to anyone, but Luke. And I have always said, “If you are unhappy with my moderation, take it up with Luke directly.” I’m not perfect, I make mistakes.

I don’t have an endless amount of time to devote to posting on the forum. I have had a very limited amount of time each day for posting. The sad thing is, by the time I get through answering the pms and emails I receive daily, there is no time for me to post the about the fun things anymore. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t have to take care of a thread that is spiraling out of control, one that is going wildly off-topic, a forum member who has broken one of the rules, or someone has inadvertently hurt someone’s feelings. So yeah, I get to be the lame mod who sucks all the joy out of the forums, instead of the easy going poster who at one time got to participate in actual discussions.

Oh I know what some of you are thinking, “There goes CJ ranting about the lack of her precious time again.” (some of you are now scratching your heads on that one, yes people I am female) In a perfect world, I would have the time I so desperately crave to get back to the easy going poster. Unfortunately, a perfect world doesn’t exist, real life gets in the way sometimes. Real life is full of time sucking responsibilities (such as a job) and unexpected health problems. Some of you may have noticed a few stretches of time, where I disappeared from the forums. I wasn’t taking a break or being a laid back mod, who let everything slide.

No, those periods of time were spent in and out of the hospital. At the first of the year, I experienced the wonderful joys of stress. Stress so severe, that it led to sky high blood pressure, and the possibilities of having a heart attack or stroke before I turn 30. No sooner than I get that under control, then I get the ultimate crappy birthday present of a leg tumor. Yah Me! A leg tumor that hurt like hell, just what I always wanted. The disappearing act I pulled recently was for my surgery to remove said annoying tumor, and for me to recover. Oh, but wait there is more fun to be had in medical hell. Lucky CJ, gets to spend one more night in the hospital, after all what does one more disaster matter at this point. The universe throws in a curveball she never saw coming, CJ gets attacked by a dog yesterday. Not just any dog mind you, no her neighbor’s aggressive ass pit bull, who surprises the hell out of everyone by jumping the four foot high fence into her backyard. What was CJ doing when said dog takes a chunk out of her? Why she is having a conversation with said neighbor. Was CJ touching the fence at any time? Nope, CJ was a good foot away from the fence when Kujo decided he wanted to snack on a boob. That's right folks, Kujo took a chunk out of my boob. Nice to see the Universe has a sense of humor. Kinda makes the leg tumor not seem so bad. So the fun just keeps happening for me, at this rate I will look like Frankenstein’s monster without the need for a costume or make-up by Halloween. Stitches and scars everywhere. Hell, the universe may even tire of screwing with me, and just out right kill me before the year ends.

So what is the first post CJ sees upon her release from this latest hospital stay? Why it is Goliath taking a dump all over her for being a joy-sucking moderator on a perceived locking frenzy (my words, not his). I knew the universe wouldn’t disappoint me, more crap for CJ to deal with. So, no, I don’t have to “go looking for problems that aren’t there”, I have no shortage of problems. I am a problem magnet, they find me everywhere I go, in real life and online.

So this is how my posting has been going lately: get thrown in the hospital, recover from real life crap, come back to forum to deal with all the forum crap that occurs during absence. Rinse, Wash, Repeat. Has CJ gone mad with her moderating all at once, locking every thread she can just for the fun of it? Nope just playing forum catch up, and I really am tired of playing this game. There are certainly no winners. Just once I would like to come back to a problem-free forum after a hospital stay. Is it really too much to ask? Don’t bother answering this one people, I know it is too much to ask.

Well, how do we fix the forum problems, without myself and the other mods coming off as forum kill joys? I’m honestly open to any and all suggestions at this point. I have tried everything I can think of here. I have begged, pleaded, threatened, and warned (as Goliath stated this doesn’t work on anyone past high school age). I even tried the not locking threads, but splitting the problem parts out method. That was such a rousing success, yes? Nope, an epic failure on all levels and a colossal waste of my time. No one was happy with that one. So how do problem threads get resolved then? Do we leave them open to become knock-down, drag-out fights between members? Nope, that doesn’t work either, (while fun for me, not so much for those who accidentally get sucked into mess) far too many people get upset with this option. Emails and Pms demanding thread closure come in every two minutes. We could try suspending and banning members every time a complaint is received, no that wouldn’t work either, the only member left would be “Lee” who never posted a single word after signing up. Well that leaves us with the dreaded forum lock. To lock or not to lock that is the question. A perfect solution? Not even close. Unfortunately, it is the only practical solution left at this time, one that I personally hate. That’s alright though, I will take one for the team and be the forum kill joy. After all I am already knee deep in the crap of the universe, no need for everyone to get crap on their boots. Though who knows, maybe, just maybe tomorrow will be the day the universe resets itself and there will be no more forum problems. Aw hell, who am I trying to kid, I will go get the shovel and wait for more crap to appear.

With that fellow members, I must end my post on a sad, sad note. I am ashamed to admit that I am now forced to give myself a warning (it sucks to be a mod sometimes):
CJ you are guilty of the further derailing of a thread and for the use of foul language. Get the thread back on-topic or I will be forced to report you to Luke, and to recommend a one week suspension.

*Hangs Head in Shame*…………….:oops:

*Moderator note: All joking aside, I am being completely serious on the warning to myself. I will probably regret this post in the morning, when the pain meds wear off.*
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Post by blackcauldron85 »

If we had a hugging emoticon, I'd post one here. CJ, you've gone through some tough times...I can't even imagine. I hope you heal well. All of that must be awfully emotionally draining, too. And yet here you are being the great mod that you are. In all of my time here at UD, you've been very fair in your job, I think. Keep it up, don't let the whiners get you down. Thank you for the work you do here- it'd be a heck of a messier place without your work. And rest up, really- you need to!!! :hug:
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Post by TheSequelOfDisney »

I definitely agree with Amy. I really hope that you will have a speedy recovery. I'm really astounded that a pit bull took a chunk of your breast! But anyway, I've been here long enough to know of how great, and fair, you are when it comes to your moderation of the boards. I haven't seen a complaint that's been out of order. We'd be completely lost without you and the other mods. Again, I hope you get better soon, and we totally need a hug emoticon (but this will work for now): Image
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Post by disneyboy20022 »

blackcauldron85 wrote:If we had a hugging emoticon, I'd post one here. CJ, you've gone through some tough times...I can't even imagine. I hope you heal well. All of that must be awfully emotionally draining, too. And yet here you are being the great mod that you are. In all of my time here at UD, you've been very fair in your job, I think. Keep it up, don't let the whiners get you down. Thank you for the work you do here- it'd be a heck of a messier place without your work. And rest up, really- you need to!!! :hug:
Medical Crap. Once one part gets resolved, another comes right back to replace the other fixed problem. I know that way too much for being 24 years old. Right Now, there's the mystery Belly Pain going on for the past 4 months. If you want to read more about my (not rant, maybe vent) here it is in this link

http://www.dvdizzy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=28830


Also CJ, I hope you have a speedy recovery, and for the most part, you're great at being a mod. Though I think a lot of us in a forum, (not just this one) thinks a Mod is somehow a God that thinks they can do no wrong and whatever they want etc. No one is Perfect.

Like I say sometimes, to error is human, but to forgive is divine.

Also, this saying from Master Oogway who is giving advice to Po, is a wonderful message about how we all should act regarding the past, the future, the the present and worries.


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Post by Lazario »

blackcauldron85 wrote:If we had a hugging emoticon, I'd post one here. CJ, you've gone through some tough times...
I hate tough times.
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Post by Wonderlicious »

Sorry how things have been so bad for you. I sincerely hope that things do truly pick up. :(

To be honest, I don't think you needed to give yourself a "warning". You needed to get stuff out your system. I think that three original post you made ought to tell people to stop bickering and posting mindless garbage more than anything else. There's really more to life than coming onto the net to have a bicker with some random who lives far far away, and people need to realise that.
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Post by pinkrenata »

I meant to applaud you when I first saw this post but never did, so here goes:

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

I know you'll come out of this alright but, in the meantime, make sure that you take care of yourself.
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Post by Elladorine »

Horrible, horrible night of RL family stuff. I wish I could talk about it, and I wish I could stop crying.

All I can really say is that I HATE self-centered, manipulative liars. :(
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Post by Disney's Divinity »

I hope everything's alright. :( Hopefully, this doesn't have anything to do with the sister-in-law you had talked about before.
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Post by PixarFan2006 »

Sounds like you've been through quite a lot.

Don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said but hope you make a good recovery.
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Post by Goliath »

enigmawing wrote:Horrible, horrible night of RL family stuff. I wish I could talk about it, and I wish I could stop crying.

All I can really say is that I HATE self-centered, manipulative liars. :(
*really, really big hug*
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Post by Elladorine »

Disney's Divinity wrote:I hope everything's alright. :( Hopefully, this doesn't have anything to do with the sister-in-law you had talked about before.
Thanks, I'm sure it will eventually work out. And yes, it's everything to do with her. I can probably say a little something now that I've had a full night's sleep and can think more clearly.

I'm mostly likely at the very beginning of a very long legal dispute with her. Not that I'd expect her to do the right thing, but the reason I got so upset last night is that I found out she's using it to get between me and the kids. Not surprising I guess, but still . . . I love them to death and barely get to see them as it is, and at this point it's quite likely that they hate me. :(
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Post by bradhig »

I know lately like you I sometimes feel like these guys.

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Post by bradhig »

If you only knew how many people on other sites have bashed me for my theory about the Romanov's ,clones and time travel who have made me red in the face you would be shocked. So the universe has crapped on me as well. Why do people need to be that mean? I believe everything needs to always be questioned.
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Post by littlefuzzy »

bradhig wrote:If you only knew how many people on other sites have bashed me for my theory about the Romanov's ,clones and time travel who have made me red in the face you would be shocked. So the universe has crapped on me as well. Why do people need to be that mean? I believe everything needs to always be questioned.
It's one thing to write a fictional tale involving some of that, it's another thing to announce to the world that you really believe a time traveler helped them escape, or that in a past life you were a guard that helped them escape...

Frankly, I feel that somehow you became interested in the mystery, and started obsessing over it. The more you thought about it, the more you wanted an explanation for the mystery. after thinking about stuff like that for long enough, you convinced yourself that they HAD to have escaped, and the only way that was possible was through time travel, or the aid of a guard. Then, since you were thinking about that more and more, you convinced yourself that you have firsthand knowledge of the supposed escape.
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Post by Goliath »

It began a month or two ago, when I started my new job. It's a really stupid, low-paying, mind-numbing job totally unfitted for somebody with my level of education, but it was this or nothing, as the resumes I send out keep coming back with negative replies. I needed the money, so I started to work here. That's where I met her.

At first I didn't notice her. She was always sitting far away from the place I usually took. She's working on another porject, so we didn't have any contact at first. Then I got to talk to her one day. I was immediately struck by how beautiful she is. Half-long black hair, dark brown eyes, pretty face, wonderful figure. Maybe she was 'out of my league', but I decided I would try everything to go out with her --and who knows what more.

In the weeks following, I stopped over at her desk everyday to talk some more and sometimes during breaks, too (we don't always have our break at the same time). I started to like everything about her: the way she speaks, the way she walks and especially the way she laughs --which she does very often. We didn't seem to have many interests in common, but we share the same personalities: quiet, reserved, keeping to ourselves (yes, me, yes).

After a few weeks of subtly (or not so subtly) hinting at the fact that I like her, I decided to ask her out. She said she couldn't do it, because she was already "seeing someone". She meant she has a "boyfriend" in Turkey (she's from a Turkish family herself) with whom she keeps in contact through e-mail and phone. So about a week later, I asked her how serious this "relationship" was and how there were no strings attached to us going out together; just getting to know each other better. She said she couldn't do this, as she has been "with" this guy for almost two years and he had made plans to come over her and marry her.

That was a big blow.

The next few weeks, I didn't see her much, as I moved to another building and started work on another project. When I moved back into my old place again, I started to try to find out how such a "relationship" could work and I got to know her doubts about the situation. (Like, she was afraid that maybe he wanted to marry her so he could come to Holland.) I always made sure to accentuate and repeat her doubts; to let her know that there are alternatives; that she shouldn't do anything she wasn't sure about etc. And that my offer to take her out was still open.

If I could show her the best side of myself, doing all kinds of nice things for her, whilst using her doubts at the same time, I thought, maybe I could make her see things in a different light and she might start to like me. (Not that I changed who I am or exaggerated things.) Like, when she said she didn't like the tea at work, I brought her special Turkish tea. When she said her "boyfriend" had given her a cheap bracelet ("but it's the thought that counts"), I got her a bracelet of candy, which she thought was so sweet and funny. Little things in which I tried to be as original as possible.

She mentioned she'll be going to Turkey to visit her relatives (and yes, her "boyfriend" would come over for a day or so, too) in a few weeks. Did she see the wonderful series of documataries about Turkey on Dutch tv a few months ago, I asked. She hadn't. I thought it would be a nice gesture to get her a copy of the series on dvd. So I tried to download this series which didn't work. Then I asked somebody else (somebody I know knows somebody who's handy with that), but the series was nowhere to be found to be downloaded so days and more days passed. Then I decided to buy the series on dvd myself (even though I have no intention of ever watching it again!), ordering it on a webshop and having it send to me. I thought I could easily copy it, but that didn't went so well. (See the thread I made asking for help.) Now remember how much of a n00b I am when it comes to computers. I spend several entire evenings after work-time to try to make a copy, which didn't work, to my big frustration as I worked so hard on it using software I don't even understand. But somebody else could do it for me and he made a perfect copy.

So I figured I should give it to her today. I had imagined how she would react: the same way I got her the other things, liking it, giving me that beautiful smile, thanking me, thinking it was sweet, appreciating the gesture and the fact that I remembered. She thanked me for it, but said she had to give it back. She couldn't take it. She said her "boyfriend" didn't like my actions at all and that she felt guilty about it --both to him and to me, for, as she said "giving you the wrong impression". Implication: it's never gonna happen.

The last few weeks, I've gone to bed and woken up every day with only her on my mind --literally. Everything I did was in relationship to her; my job had become merely a context to see her and talk to her; when I made her laugh, my day was great; when we didn't have time to talk, my day was horrible. And now I thought I had done something special for her, the exact opposite of what I had expected happened. I totally didn't see this coming.

I was crushed.

I feel terrible now. Really, really awful. I had no-one to talk to, so I thought I'd write it down here.
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Post by Elladorine »

Big hugs back to you Goliath. :(
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Post by Scarred4life »

Aww, Goliath, that's so sad.. I really hope you'll start to feel better soon. *hugs*
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Post by Dr Frankenollie »

Poor Goliath... :( I hope you feel better soon.
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