dalek invasion fanfic
dalek invasion fanfic
What happened when canned killer squids invade Disney worlds? Please don't be offended .angry or otherwise if you favorite characters die its for fun besides Daleks exterminate so people gotta die.
http://sfstlskyway.com/dalekinvasion.htm
http://sfstlskyway.com/dalekinvasion.htm
- Chernabog_Rocks
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Paragraph breaks? It needs a lot more than that, such as:
- Spell check
- Grammar check
- Logic
Everything is so rushed, good fanfics draw the story out over multiple chapters and explain things in more detail.
Here's what I mean by rushed.
theyfindthesphereletthedaleksouteveryonediesthedoctorshowsuptheend.
Like the sentence above, it's hard to read and there's no meat to the story. It's like the author (not sure who wrote it) got lazy after deciding the plot and wrote random events and strung them together with slight continuity.
Am I harsh? Yes but it's better than lying and saying "oh that was wonderful"
- Spell check
- Grammar check
- Logic
Everything is so rushed, good fanfics draw the story out over multiple chapters and explain things in more detail.
Here's what I mean by rushed.
theyfindthesphereletthedaleksouteveryonediesthedoctorshowsuptheend.
Like the sentence above, it's hard to read and there's no meat to the story. It's like the author (not sure who wrote it) got lazy after deciding the plot and wrote random events and strung them together with slight continuity.
Am I harsh? Yes but it's better than lying and saying "oh that was wonderful"
My Disney focused instagram: disneyeternal
This is in works format only way to preserve the formatting.
http://sfstlskyway.com/dalekinvasion.wps
http://sfstlskyway.com/dalekinvasion.wps
- Chernabog_Rocks
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Actuall it's constructive criticism Most people prefer to get the constructive criticisms so that they know what to work on and what needs fixing.bradhig wrote:I don't know how to put on the web with the formatting preserved I used microsoft works to write it. I don't know why I even bother anymore nothing but people griping at my work.
My Disney focused instagram: disneyeternal
As CR said, its constructive criticism. I have had my work published several times, and before I enter it for publishing, I hand over the final drafts to friends and family I know are good with English grammar and spelling. Once they made any corrections I missed, I enter it to be published. I am hoping one day to publish some books. So far, only have done some articles for magazines, but I was very successful.
- Chernabog_Rocks
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I very rarely use computer programs to type my fanfics on but when I do I use Wordpad. One person over on another board just types his story installments up in a post instead of linking it. Perhaps that would work better?bradhig wrote:I used an old copy of office a few years back for fanfic and saving as html didn't change the format but doing it with works did don't know why?
Here's a link you might find interesting as well
http://www.waynesthisandthat.com/writefanfic.htm
Edit: Added link
My Disney focused instagram: disneyeternal
- Escapay
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Well, I wanted to give bradhig the benefit of the doubt, so I took it upon myself to copy/paste the whole thing into WordPad and just fix all the typos and grammar mistakes as I was reading, in order to read it all better. I got as far as the extermination of Agrabah before I realized, "Really...should I bother anymore? Do I even give a sh!t how this fanfic turns out?"
However, I didn't want my work to go to waste, and this could be a good writing lesson for bradhig if he doesn't click Cherny's link. So, I present, an excerpt of "The Dalek Disney Invasion" by bradhig...
No one could have foreseen it. No one realized the use of magic to alter and travel in time had been noticed by creatures far more dangerous and terrifying than anything ever seen before. As the people of the Disney worlds slept, an enemy launched an assault that would send shockwaves around the world.
Outside Agrabah, Aladdin and Jasmine found a large gold sphere. They were unaware that it contained the vanguard of the Dalek army. Genie used his magic to transport the sphere back to the palace. That night while they slept, the sphere began to shake. It slowly began to open in front of the Genie.
“Everyone hurry, there’s something in the sphere,“ Genie said.
The Cult of Skaro appeared with a Genesis Ark. This one didn‘t need the touch of a time traveler to open it.
“Alien life form detected. EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE!“ screamed Sec.
“What are those things? I’ve never seen them before,” Genie said.
“EXTERMINATE!!! “screamed the Daleks.
Aladdin jumped on Carpet but Daleks were right behind him. One laser blast knocked Carpet to the ground. Just as Aladdin got up, he was hit from behind.
”EXTERMINATE!!!” the Dalek said as it exterminated Aladdin.
“No,” screamed Jasmine as she tried to get Aladdin to move, but it was too late. A Dalek shot her through the chest, knocking her to the ground. Genie’s magic was bouncing harmlessly off the Daleks' shields.
“Strange gaseous life form detected, adjusting weapons,“ a Dalek said. A single laser blast hit Genie and he turned to dust and was dead. Before long, Agrabah was finished. Smoke rose from several places.
"Spread out across this world and exterminate all life forms," Sec ordered.
Mozenrath, Mirage, and Sadira were no match for the power of the Daleks. Magic couldn’t penetrate their shields and most were dead within minutes of the Daleks' arrival. It was over within hours of the first strike on Agrabah. The Daleks met in the desert and prepared for the next assault.
“We are victorious. We are the supreme beings in the universe," Sec said. He lead them in chorus.
“DALEKS WILL CONQUER AND DESTROY, CONQUER AND DESTROY,” they shouted. With that, they headed for the ocean and the realm of the merpeople.
albert
However, I didn't want my work to go to waste, and this could be a good writing lesson for bradhig if he doesn't click Cherny's link. So, I present, an excerpt of "The Dalek Disney Invasion" by bradhig...
No one could have foreseen it. No one realized the use of magic to alter and travel in time had been noticed by creatures far more dangerous and terrifying than anything ever seen before. As the people of the Disney worlds slept, an enemy launched an assault that would send shockwaves around the world.
Outside Agrabah, Aladdin and Jasmine found a large gold sphere. They were unaware that it contained the vanguard of the Dalek army. Genie used his magic to transport the sphere back to the palace. That night while they slept, the sphere began to shake. It slowly began to open in front of the Genie.
“Everyone hurry, there’s something in the sphere,“ Genie said.
The Cult of Skaro appeared with a Genesis Ark. This one didn‘t need the touch of a time traveler to open it.
“Alien life form detected. EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE!“ screamed Sec.
“What are those things? I’ve never seen them before,” Genie said.
“EXTERMINATE!!! “screamed the Daleks.
Aladdin jumped on Carpet but Daleks were right behind him. One laser blast knocked Carpet to the ground. Just as Aladdin got up, he was hit from behind.
”EXTERMINATE!!!” the Dalek said as it exterminated Aladdin.
“No,” screamed Jasmine as she tried to get Aladdin to move, but it was too late. A Dalek shot her through the chest, knocking her to the ground. Genie’s magic was bouncing harmlessly off the Daleks' shields.
“Strange gaseous life form detected, adjusting weapons,“ a Dalek said. A single laser blast hit Genie and he turned to dust and was dead. Before long, Agrabah was finished. Smoke rose from several places.
"Spread out across this world and exterminate all life forms," Sec ordered.
Mozenrath, Mirage, and Sadira were no match for the power of the Daleks. Magic couldn’t penetrate their shields and most were dead within minutes of the Daleks' arrival. It was over within hours of the first strike on Agrabah. The Daleks met in the desert and prepared for the next assault.
“We are victorious. We are the supreme beings in the universe," Sec said. He lead them in chorus.
“DALEKS WILL CONQUER AND DESTROY, CONQUER AND DESTROY,” they shouted. With that, they headed for the ocean and the realm of the merpeople.
albert
WIST #60:
AwallaceUNC: Would you prefer Substi-Blu-tiary Locomotion?
WIST #61:
TheSequelOfDisney: Damn, did Lin-Manuel Miranda go and murder all your families?
AwallaceUNC: Would you prefer Substi-Blu-tiary Locomotion?
WIST #61:
TheSequelOfDisney: Damn, did Lin-Manuel Miranda go and murder all your families?
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Chernabog_Rocks wrote: Good job Scaps I'm sure your work is much appreciated (if not then I"LL appreciate it )
Thanks, Cherny!
Yep.Cherny wrote:Btw did you click the link? If so at least the link got some excersize
Because a lot of fanfics are badly written and don't adhere to standard rules and guidelines for writing, which in most cases are the least of the fanfics' problems.bradhig wrote:Why so many spaces? A lot of fanfic I have seen doesn't have that much space.
Whoa, really? Hmm, maybe I should give a sh!t and keep on reading...pinkrenata wrote:Personally, I found it very moving when Aurora and Cinderella stripped down to their skivvies for a moonlit swim.
albert
WIST #60:
AwallaceUNC: Would you prefer Substi-Blu-tiary Locomotion?
WIST #61:
TheSequelOfDisney: Damn, did Lin-Manuel Miranda go and murder all your families?
AwallaceUNC: Would you prefer Substi-Blu-tiary Locomotion?
WIST #61:
TheSequelOfDisney: Damn, did Lin-Manuel Miranda go and murder all your families?
- SpringHeelJack
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Eh, maybe if Aladdin and Jim Hawkins had gone for a midnight swim I'd have more reason try and make sense of this, my brow furrowed in a vain attempt to make sense of writing deprived of grammatical sense...
Eh.
Eh.
"Ta ta ta taaaa! Look at me... I'm a snowman! I'm gonna go stand on someone's lawn if I don't get something to do around here pretty soon!"
I made some changes and changed the ending as well. You will be cracking up when you see what the doctor does to the Daleks.
http://sfstlskyway.com/dalekinvasion2.htm
http://sfstlskyway.com/dalekinvasion2.htm
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fanfictions are the bane of the internet. Go do something more constructive.
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