sambadude wrote:
For some strange reason when Divinity said Maleficent and Jafar I had the image in my head of them taking the place of Belle & Beauty in the ballroom dancing scene. Just think about it...it's a very bizarre image!
(Maleficent and Jafar are waltzing around the dance floor to an orchestral and sultry version of
Grim Grinning Ghost. Other villains are dancing about as well. It's a very villainous party.)
Maleficent: You dance divinely, Jafar.
Jafar: My good woman, with a partner such as yourself, how could I not?
Maleficent: Oh stop, you'll make me blush.
Jafar: If it would put more color into your rosy cheeks, then blush, madam, blush!
(Maleficent laughs)
Maleficent: I was distressed when you didn't return my calls.
Jafar: Yes, well I was indisposed at the moment.
Maleficent: Trapped in the lamp again?
Jafar: No, I locked myself in my secret lair by accident.
(Chernabog comes up, and grunts.)
Chernabog: May I cut in?
Maleficent: You don't mind...do you, darling?
Jafar: Just keep a few spaces left for me on your dance card...
(Jafar allows Chernabog to dance with Maleficent. The song changes to an orchestral version of
Poor Unfortunate Souls. Jafar goes and sits down at the table. Ursula is sitting as well.)
Ursula: What's wrong, loverboy?
Jafar: I have a feeling I may be losing her, Nessa.
Ursula: Maleficent? (laughs) She adores you.
Jafar: Yes, but my powers...they are no match for hers. I feel...inferior to her.
Ursula: Jafar, dear sweet Jafar, she doesn't love you for your powers. She loves you for you.
(Hades pops in.)
Hades: Urs! Jaf! How are my two favorite villains?
Ursula: Forget it, honey.
Hades: I didn't even get to -
Ursula: Tut-tut-tut-tut- no! I refuse to partake in another one of your idiotic schemes again. Last time your plans backfired and I ended up having to by Tremaine a whole new set of lawn furniture. You know how much wicker costs these days?
Jafar: Look at them. Dancing like that. It's vulgar.
Hades: He moping over Lefy again?
Jafar: I do wish you stop callilng her that.
Hades: Jaf, Jaf, Jaf, Lefy will never leave you. At least, so long as Hornsy is taken.
(Cruella De Vil shows up at the table.)
Cruella: Hornsy? You mean that little scramp used to date Horned King?
Hades: Ah, it was a lifetime ago. They probably forgot each other.
Cruella: Oh no, they couldn't possibly. No one ever forgets their first love. Ah, love! I remember my first...he was so virile and handsome and fluffy.
(Ursula and Hades give confused looks.)
Ursula: Fluf-fy?
Cruella: Oh, it's too painful. Too, too painful! But I shall never forget...my Sabor!
(The song ends, and Chernabog and Maleficent return to the table.)
Maleficent: Well, that was a wonderful dance.
Chernabog: You're one lucky man, Jafar.
Jafar: Yes, I know.
(Horned King and Helga Sinclair walk past their table to another, where Scar, Frollo, Lady Tremaine, and Madame Medusa are sitting. Maleficent's eyes gaze at Horned King, and well up a little bit.)
Maleficent: Excuse me...
(She gets up and runs to the bathroom. Jafar looks angrily at Hades)
Jafar: Forgot each other?!
Ursula: Now, now, Jafar, don't do anything rash. I'll go check up on her.
(Ursula slithers off to the ladies' room, and finds Maleficent in a stall crying. They talk with the door between them.)
Ursula: Oh dear, what's wrong?
Maleficent: He didn't even look at me! And that...that woman he's with...she's a mere mortal!
Ursula: Some men like to settle once in awhile.
Maleficent: Se-settle?
Ursula: Of course! You were too good for him and he knew it. So rather than tie you down he found a weakling. Remember that, she's a weakling!
Maleficent: But she's so...so beautiful! And I'm ugly!
Ursula: Crazy talk! Come on, out of the stall!
(Ursula uses her tentacles to unlock the door from the inside. She drags Maleficent to the mirror.)
Ursula: Now, take a good look at yourself. Honey, you are gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous! Jafar is lucky to have you!
Maleficent: But why would he want me? He could have any other sorceress...he could have had Mim!
Ursula: Bah, Mim-Schmim! You..are..Maleficent! Come on, look at your face. Look at your complexion, who else has skin smoother and greener than yours?
Maleficent: Elliot.
Ursula: D'oh! Lefy, you've got to stop beating yourself up over Hornsy. Move on, show him that you've found someone bigger and better!
Maleficent: Jafar
can turn himself into a snake...
Ursula: Exactly! And what can Hornsy do? Breathe hoarsely and do magic tricks with his little kettle. You have found yourself a genie.
Maleficent: I guess I've taken Jafar for granted.
Ursula: Now, come on, let's go back to the party. I hear Alameda and the Queen of Hearts have some type of talent show they want to give us.
(The two exit the bathroom and go back to the table.)
The End, so far, and is much longer than I thought it would be since all this was written spur of the moment.
Escapay
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