How should I feel when a gift gets neglected? Movie theme...

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How should I feel when a gift gets neglected? Movie theme...

Post by DC Fan »

Ok,

So here I am again with another story regarding my friend; the one that basically dislikes The Little Mermaid because he looked too much into it.

The thing is that, I´ve given him several movies as gifts for Christmas. Most of them are Disney ones (Hercules, Lilo and Stitch and The Incredibles). Movies that he hasn´t seen ever. And, having those movies for years now (The Incredibles and Lilo at least the others were recent) he still hasn´t seen them.

And I don´t know how to react or feel about it.

...well, I get angry at the situation to be honest.

Why? If someone gave me a movie as a gift I´d watch it...obviously. But, what makes me angry and really upset is the fact that on our forum we post the movies we just watched and he does watch movies but not the ones I gave him. And, to make matters worse he´s seeing movies he´s already seen.

We´re reviewers for this site. I know that he´s very busy going to press screens and then writing the articles and preparing them for the site. So, I´d understand he can´t watch the movies I gave him because of that. But, when he posts that he keeps seeing movies he´s already seen again and again and don´t watch mine I get really upset/angry.

So, I don´t know what to do say...if anything. Sometimes I feel like telling him: "You know, I gave you those movies as gifts. The Incredibles and Lilo you´ve had for years now. And I feel bad when you keep posting that you´re watching movies you´ve already seen instead of watching the movies I gave you".

Still, I can´t and don´t want to force him to do anything. Yet again, I feel so bad about it that sometimes I want to tell him.

What would you do on my situation? How would you feel?

PS

-I even think I have the right to say something when are movies that he´s had for years now.

...plus, I know for sure he´ll end up loving them. I gave him as a gift a year ago all the Harry Potter movies; as weird as he is he never saw them and didn´t even want to give them a try ever. So, he watches them and not only do he likes them but he wants to upgrade them on BD.

So I know he will like them.
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Re: How should I feel when a gift gets neglected? Movie them

Post by blackcauldron85 »

I think that most people would be a little bummed if they picked out and spent money on a gift for someone; we give people gifts because we think that they'd like them! Do you think he just doesn't like animated films? Maybe mention to him when you're talking that you just watched whatever Disney movie you just watched, and ask him if he's watched any Disney movies lately (like maybe L&S or The Incredibles, perhaps?!). If he says that he hasn't, and doesn't give a reason, then maybe say, "Well, if you ever need something to watch, those movies are great, I promise!" or something. And I think that's basically all you can do, short of tying him to a chair and forcing him to watch them (which I totally wouldn't recommend. :p)

I would also suggest maybe not giving him movies as gifts in the future, at least not Disney ones, because it may be a waste of money.
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Re: How should I feel when a gift gets neglected? Movie them

Post by Disney's Divinity »

I've only had one problem with a Christmas gift before. One year, I bought my sister a $35 book that collected the Bone comics together that would often be put in the back of the Disney magazine I got as a child that my sister always read. I thought it would be a nice gift since the magazines never had the complete story for her to read and show I didn't just buy something random at a drug store. Instead, she turned up her nose at it and gave it back to me the moment she opened it.

So, maybe I'm petty, but my advice is to do what I now do with her: give him a five-dollar bill at Christmas and be done. If he doesn't care for your gifts, then you shouldn't give a ****.
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Re: How should I feel when a gift gets neglected? Movie them

Post by DC Fan »

blackcauldron85 wrote:I think that most people would be a little bummed if they picked out and spent money on a gift for someone; we give people gifts because we think that they'd like them! Do you think he just doesn't like animated films? Maybe mention to him when you're talking that you just watched whatever Disney movie you just watched, and ask him if he's watched any Disney movies lately (like maybe L&S or The Incredibles, perhaps?!). If he says that he hasn't, and doesn't give a reason, then maybe say, "Well, if you ever need something to watch, those movies are great, I promise!" or something. And I think that's basically all you can do, short of tying him to a chair and forcing him to watch them (which I totally wouldn't recommend. :p)

I would also suggest maybe not giving him movies as gifts in the future, at least not Disney ones, because it may be a waste of money.
About that...

1. He does watch animated movies; in fact, one of his recent viewings was either Arriety or Epic. Both movies he´s seen already.

2. Not only doesn´t he get around to watch the movies I gave him but to make matters worse he bought Frozen and will be watching it soon.

That´s what makes me :? ...and upset too.

If I knew it´s :

a. Cause he doesn´t have time (yet...to have a 90 min movie and don´t watch it.) There has to come a time he can. And since he watches already seen movies it´s an indication he does have time.

b. Had it been a video game or TV series where you have to invest quite the amount of time I´d understand that he´ll do it whenever.

So, there you see. They´re movies he´ll watch and like and it´s not like I just gave them to him and expect him to watch them now. But, when he´s had them for so long and don´t bother... That´s what gets me.

Anyways, thanks for both comments.
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Re: How should I feel when a gift gets neglected? Movie them

Post by DC Fan »

An update...

I´ll think about it and tonight I´ll decide if I should tell my friend directly to watch the movies.

Here´s hoping everything ends well. Because, as I said, I don´t want to make it feel as if I´m forcing him...but you know already.
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Re: How should I feel when a gift gets neglected? Movie them

Post by Escapay »

I've lent out movies to friends before. By loaning them, they know they have a limited timeframe in which to view them, and so they'll be more pro-active in doing so.

I've also given movies to friends as gifts. These could be movies I already know they love, or movies I think they may be interested in seeing. Either way, by gifting a movie, the ball is essentially in their court. I have no more say in when a friend should watch them than you do. Let it be, and he'll get to them when he gets to them. Honestly, they're his movies now and it's his decision whether or not to watch them. Regardless if they were a gift or not. You've willingly put those movies into his possession, so he can do with them as he pleases.

Time is precious, even 90 minutes. What we do with our spare time is our own business. Some days I'd rather watch When Harry Met Sally or Gilda or Mommie Dearest or Splendor in the Grass or any other movie for the 100th time even though there's still a stack of movies I've bought that have yet to be seen, or haven't been watched in years. I don't owe my movie collection any explanation for why I pick one movie over another.

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Re: How should I feel when a gift gets neglected? Movie them

Post by Hogi Bear »

Well, it's hard to tell someone what to do with their spare time and things that they now own. But I guess one way to get around that, is to make a movie night out of it. You could organise it and take chips and popcorn or whatever. And if you don't want to seem too pushy, then make it that you each pick a movie and you could do this as a regular thing.

That's my suggestion anyway (not sure if it's a suitable one though).
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Re: How should I feel when a gift gets neglected? Movie them

Post by DC Fan »

Escapay,

I hear you.

To give you an example...There have been times that I want to force myself to watch X movie in the Disney Collection (because I want to watch them all or have to cause I review them) when in reality I either don´t want to watch it or want to watch another one (even I just recently saw it). I get that.

However, even if they´re gifts it´s not like I´m asking him to play a video game where he has to actually invest time and energy into it. A movie you just need to sit down and enjoy it. And I´m not forcing him to watch them just now but he´s had the movies for years now . And have already watched other movies he likes.

Besides, he´s given me gifts as well...and has asked me to take pictures of it to share them with the members at the forum. There you see... he knows what it feels like when you make a gift to someone that that person appreciates it.

And he´ll never know how much he´ll like them till he gives them a try. Again I bring Harry Potter. After watching them he fell in love with them. But you have to give it a try. And it´s not a punishment or a torture. They´re just movies!
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Re: How should I feel when a gift gets neglected? Movie them

Post by Disney Guru »

DC Fan,

No offense I think your dwelling a bit too much on this. It's a gift, unless there are strings attached it is up to the giftee so to speak if they ever use it or not. Nough' said.
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